By Sheri Davis Collins
Even as small children, little girls daydream of their special wedding day, complete with beautiful white ruffles, shimmery ribbons, and traditional rice. In their genuine state of innocence at such a young age, children are often completely oblivious to the harsh grown-up issues that can savagely rip apart the strongest strands of their parent’s love holding together the relationships. Perhaps the harshest is lying, especially about infidelity.
Many couples are blissfully married for decades; however, other nuptials are lucky to survive six months. So what is the magical ingredient that helps keep relationships healthy and happy? The answer is simple: honest communication. Implementing strong communication skills between you and your partner isn’t always easy or fun, and it often takes a lot of patience, especially attentive listening skills. Unfortunately, for those couples not willing to put forth a sincere effort into their relationships eventually discover that lying is the only coping skill he or she can apply to the marriage.
Work or Play?
After living with someone for a period of time, soon you become aware of his or her little habits and daily routines. Not to the point where you stalk someone, but just being conscious of co-habiting with someone. Once you begin noticing changes in work schedules (working late, working weekends, or frequent ‘business trips’ out of town), hand-written phone numbers on business cards, spending more time with ‘friends’ or simply nowhere to be found, then you have the right to become suspicious that your significant other could be lying to you.
Direct Questions, Indirect Answers
If you don’t need a GPS navigation system to keep track of your partner’s physical location, but what about his or her mental and emotional state? Do you try talking to your spouse about an issue that’s important to you, but only receive a grunt or nod in response? The more you push the topic, do you find yourself the only one still trying to communicate? Often avoidance is the simplest form of lying. By avoiding directly answering a question or accusation, it’s only human nature that suspicions will begin to rise.
Perhaps the other extreme is being showered with attention from your lover. Your partner may feel so bad about lying to you that he or she will go the extra mile to make you happy – coming home with a beautiful dozen red roses and reservations for an expensive dinner on the town, or your wife bakes your favorite home-cooked dish. On the other hand, other dishonest cheaters take the opportunity to belittle you and provoke you to anger. Whether false accusations are thrown to make the guilty partner feel better about his or her dirty deeds, regurgitation of nasty rumors, or your partner becomes insanely defensive, be prepared for all communications to fly out the window in a hurry.
If you notice your spouse pulling away from you and your family, try to keep the lines of communication open. If he or she is hell-bent on making a point, be aware of your surroundings because arguments may become overheated, and unfortunately can quickly turn violent. While it may be impossible to catch your significant other in the act of cheating, sooner or later he or she will get caught lying.
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